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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24542794">my love for you doesn't change, only grows stronger</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/stupidbadgers/pseuds/stupidbadgers'>stupidbadgers</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>lone wolf no more (i hold you in my heart) [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Naruto</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Anbu Hatake Kakashi, Angst, Domesticity, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, KakaIru Mini Bang 2020, M/M, Pancakes, Wolf Hatake Kakashi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 00:21:02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,063</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24542794</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/stupidbadgers/pseuds/stupidbadgers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>he didn’t know the boy with the scar across his nose, standing at the memorial stone crying, was his soulmate; that didn’t come until later</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>lone wolf no more (i hold you in my heart) [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1778071</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>262</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>KakaIru Mini Bang 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. how it began...</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>many thanks to <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/firelily13"> firelily</a> for looking this over for me. all mistakes and errors are my own. </p><p>many more thanks to <a href="https://kakairu-mini-bang.tumblr.com/about"> Magnus, Rae, and TMO</a> for hosting this event.</p><p>please enjoy~~</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was not long after the last death of everyone Kakashi had ever cared about that he met his soulmate. He didn’t know the boy with the scar across his nose, standing at the Memorial Stone crying, was his soulmate; that didn’t come until later. The first time he saw him there, he didn’t approach, didn’t say a word, barely breathed. Kakashi was wrapped in Hound, his ANBU gear fitting snugly against his skin and his ANBU mask securely in place, changing him to someone emotionless, who didn’t feel the pain of the things Kakashi had lost.  </p><p>It was not the only shape Kakashi had though. He was Kakashi the man (really, he was still barely a teenager, but he often felt<em> so much older</em>, Hound the ANBU, but he had another; he was also Hatake Kakashi, wolf and protector of the forests of Konoha. There were nights when Kakashi was able to shed his human skin, slipping into that of the wolf, larger than those one would find in the forests (though still growing, eventually becoming the size of a great dire wolf). Those were his favorite nights, free of the responsibilities of being a human.  </p><p>Those nights, he was able to roam the forests of Konoha, seeking to eliminate any threat posed to his home. He would hunt, stalk, chase. Protecting his home was what he had been taught, from birth to now, and nothing would change that. In the times when he would change his skin, become the wolf, his purpose of protecting Konoha, being a tool of his village, was welcomed, no longer a burden. He enjoyed his time as a wolf.  </p><p>As he grew—got older and suffered terrible losses—he became more comfortable slipping into his wolf form. He found solace in it. The wolf made him feel complete. <span class="TextRun SCXW164637408 BCX0"><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW164637408 BCX0">On the rare occasion he wasn’t on a mission</span></span><span class="TextRun SCXW164637408 BCX0"><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW164637408 BCX0">—</span></span><span class="TextRun SCXW164637408 BCX0"><span class="NormalTextRun CommentStart SCXW164637408 BCX0">drowning himself in ANBU</span></span><span class="TextRun SCXW164637408 BCX0"><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW164637408 BCX0">—</span></span><span class="TextRun SCXW164637408 BCX0"><span class="NormalTextRun SCXW164637408 BCX0">and he was alone, hiding in his family’s compound, he would become the wolf. Sometimes he would laze about, other times he would roam the forest on extra patrols. </span></span></p><p>Shinobi and civilians alike started rumors about the spirit of the great wolf sometimes spotted dashing through the trees. It became a legend that was embellished, a spirit that the paranoid—and all shinobi were paranoid—could believe in. Some said that if you saw it, death would come for you; others said you would be granted long life and protection provided by the forest. It was the latter that most believed, the only death seemingly being those who threatened the safety of their village.  </p><p>And Kakashi let them believe that. Despite all the loss he had suffered and the feeling of being so very old that had settled into his bones, he was still young. At barely fifteen, the village saw him as an adult, and sometimes, slipping into the wolf form reminded him that he wasn’t that, that he didn’t always have to be that.  </p><p>The wolf form let him be himself.  </p><p>*** </p><p>It was only a month or so after the first time Kakashi saw the boy, that he spotted the kid at the Memorial Stone again.  </p><p>He sat with his knees pulled up close to his chest, arms wrapped around them in a tight embrace. His hair was pulled into a short, messy ponytail, strands falling out, plastered to his face by the rain—if it could even be called that; it seemed water hung perpetually in the air, soaking through everything. Even with the rain, Kakashi could see the fresh tear tracks running down the kid’s face. He couldn’t be much younger than Kakashi himself, perhaps ten or eleven, though he did appear small for his age. His hunched posture only added to the illusion of being younger. Kakashi studied the boy from his vantage point in the tree.  </p><p>Kakashi, wrapped in Hound again, had been on his way back from a mission but wanted to stop at the Memorial Stone first. He found he did not want to disturb the boy, although he attributed that to his dislike of interacting with other people. He had been told a multitude of times that he had a certain lack of social skills. Kakashi couldn’t argue that.  </p><p>There was something about this boy, though, that drew Kakashi in, even if he didn’t want to disturb him. Perhaps it was the look of utter defeat and loss in those big, brown eyes that never left the black stone in front of him. A large scar ran horizontal across his cheeks and nose. It made Kakashi wonder how it got there.  </p><p>Those eyes caught his attention again. He could empathize with what he saw. Everyone he loved had been taken from him. He refused to love anyone again. He didn’t think he could handle the pain of losing more people who were precious to him and he had found if people were to close him, they died. He was a black stain on people’s lives.  </p><p>Something about the crying boy called out to him though. Whatever it was that was calling to him was also was breaking down Hound's walls, making him more Kakashi than his ANBU persona, despite still wearing the mask. His foot moved without his permission, the branch under it cracking. The boy’s head whipped to Kakashi’s position. He was on his feet, a kunai gripped tightly in his hand. Kakashi was impressed at the reaction of the pre-genin. </p><p>“Who’s there?” the boy demanded, hand not holding the kunai swiping furiously at his face, trying to erase the evidence of his tears.  </p><p>Kakashi jumped down from the tree, emerging from the tree line with his hands up in a surrender gesture. He was smart enough to not underestimate anyone, enemy or not.  </p><p>As soon as the boy glimpsed the ANBU mask, he immediately dropped the kunai and bowed.  </p><p>“ANBU-san, I apologize,” he said quietly.  </p><p>Kakashi smiled a little behind the mask. The kid was apologizing for Kakashi startling him.  </p><p>“Why are you apologizing for me scaring you?” Kakashi asked, walking closer.  </p><p>The boy jerked his head up, sputtering, “I threatened you with a kunai, ANBU-san.” He took an involuntary step backwards when he realized how close Kakashi was.  </p><p>“You reacted to an unknown threat exactly the way you’ve been taught. Don’t apologize for that,” Kakashi paused as his words sunk in. The boy’s scar wrinkled as he scrunched his nose up, the rain still smattering his face. “I should be the one apologizing for interrupting you.” Kakashi bowed his head, stepping back, preparing to leave.  </p><p>“Wait!” the boy grabbed Kakashi’s wrist, freezing the ANBU in place. Almost every part of his instincts screamed to break the hold, fight, but a very small part of Kakashi melted at the slight touch, gripping his wrist tightly. Despite the barrier of cloth, his arm broke into goosebumps, the touch warming him to his bones.  </p><p>The boy seemed to realize his mistake and immediately released Kakashi, stuttering, “I’m sorry, ANBU-san, I… I shouldn’t have… have grabbed you like that. But… you could stay, if you want. I don’t mind the company.” </p><p>Kakashi couldn’t decide if he missed the contact or not. He stared at the scarred boy for a moment before nodding, not trusting his voice. He followed the boy back over to where he had been sat before, sitting on the ground again, seemingly unbothered by its dampness.  </p><p>Kakashi sat down slowly next to him, mirroring the kid’s position. They sat in silence for awhile, Kakashi studying the boy from the corner of his good eye.  </p><p>“What can I call you?” the boy asked suddenly, breaking the quiet around them. Kakashi realized it had stopped raining.  </p><p>“Huh?” he replied inelegantly.  </p><p>“Well, I don’t really want to keep calling you ANBU-san. People say all ANBU have some name they’re called,” the boy explained. “I don’t know, I was hoping you could tell me yours. But it’s fine if you don’t, I wasn’t…” he trailed off, rubbing his scar.  </p><p>Kakashi chuckled, “you can call me Hound.”  </p><p>“Is that because your mask kinda looks like a dog?” Big, brown eyes jerked up to Kakashi’s masked face, and he slapped a hand over his mouth. “Oh man, I’m sorry! Sometimes my mouth says things before I can stop it. Forgive me, Hound-san.”  </p><p>A full laugh emerged from Kakashi’s chest, surprising both boys. </p><p>“You don’t need to keep apologizing. But yes, I suppose that is likely why I’m called Hound. And it’s just Hound.”  </p><p>It was the boy’s turn for confusion, “huh?”  </p><p>“No need to be formal.”  </p><p>“Oh.” He seemed to be trying to shrink back into himself. Kakashi didn’t want that. </p><p>“What’s your name?” </p><p>The boy looked back over at Kakashi, pride flashing in his dark eyes, “Umino Iruka.”  </p><p>Kakashi was momentarily stunned, thankful that his mask could cover his mouth gaping open. <em>This </em>was Umino Iruka, the prankster pre-genin that caused the Hokage all kinds of headaches, not to mention ANBU.  </p><p>“<em>Y</em><em>ou’re </em>Umino Iruka?” Kakashi asked, unable to hide the surprise in his voice. He had heard stories from other ANBU about this kid, chased all across the village after his pranks were set off.  </p><p>An “oh shit” look passed over Iruka’s face as he realized who he was talking to, then defiance settled on his features, his chest puffing as much as it could with his knees pulled against it.  </p><p>“Yeah. What’re you gonna do? Drag me in to the Hokage?”  </p><p>Kakashi huffed a laugh, “definitely not. Let me know the next time you need help though.”  </p><p>Iruka’s jaw dropped, “you can’t be serious.”  </p><p>“I won’t tell if you don’t tell,” Kakashi whispered conspiratorially.  </p><p>Iruka stared at him for a moment longer before turning back to the Memorial Stone. They lapsed into a comfortable silence.  </p><p>And as the months went on, they continued to see one another at the Stone, sometimes talking, sometimes just sitting in the quiet, listening to the wind blow softly through the trees. It was never uncomfortable though, taking comfort in the other’s presence. When they did talk, it was about anything and everything; sometimes something simple like the weather or Iruka’s classes at the Academy, but other times it was more, whispered secrets and insecurities, things no one else knew. When Iruka was feeling brave he would scoot closer to the ANBU boy, their arms brushing. They both ignored the tingle each felt when bare skin contacted bare skin.  </p><p>*** </p><p>It was barely dawn as Kakashi approached the stone, free of Hound for the moment. As he came to the tree line, he hesitated, seeing Iruka sitting in front of the stone. He knew he shouldn’t move past, shouldn’t approach, but he was drawn to Iruka, like always. It had been almost a year since the first time he had seen Iruka, and that feeling of wanting to be beside the boy hadn’t vanished.  </p><p>Kakashi took a breath, steeling his resolve, and emerged from the tree line. He could feel his hands shaking slightly. He balled them into fists, his short nails cutting into his palms, the pain grounding him.  </p><p>Iruka looked up as Kakashi got closer. Mischief played in his dark eyes. Kakashi hesitated again.  </p><p>“You can sit next to me, if you want,” Iruka said quietly, a small smile on his face, pointing to the spot next to him his left, as if he knew Kakashi would not want Iruka in his blindspot.  </p><p>Kakashi nodded slightly, sitting next to the now genin. He could feel Iruka’s eyes on him. They sat in the quiet for a moment, comfortable despite Kakashi’s inner anxiety. He knew this was a bad idea, that he could get in a lot of trouble if Iruka identified him as Hound, that Iruka could get in a lot of trouble.  </p><p>Iruka broke the silence of the still morning air, his voice still quiet as to not be overheard by anyone passing by.  </p><p>“I know you can’t tell me. I won’t tell anyone, promise.” </p><p>Kakashi looked at Iruka, his grey eye wide.  </p><p>Iruka gave him another small smile, “it’s okay.”  </p><p>The other boy continued to gape at him from behind his mask. Iruka just turned his head back forward, looking at the names engraved on the stone.  </p><p>After a beat he turned his gaze back to Kakashi, that look of mischief growing as quick as the smile that split across his face. He stuck his hand out toward Kakashi, “I’m Umino Iruka. What’s your name?”  </p><p>Kakashi couldn’t help it, he laughed. Not a full laugh, just a small rush of air. He was constantly amazed by Iruka; the way he always had a smile for others, the way he cared about other people even though he often was looked over, the way he managed to get out of trouble despite the numerous pranks. Iruka, this sweet boy who had lost everything, just as Kakashi had, could still see light and goodness in the world and somehow managed to find a way to befriend not just Hound, but Kakashi, the boy behind the mask. <em>Perhaps one day,</em> Kakashi thought, <em>he might even be able to accept my wolf form too.  </em>  </p><p>Iruka wiggled his hand, encouraging Kakashi to take it. The jounin slowly reached out to clasp the boy's hand. A tingle spread throughout Kakashi’s fingers and arm as their hands touched.  </p><p>“Hatake Kakashi.”  </p><p>“We should be friends. I feel like I know you already.”  </p><p>Kakashi laughed again. Only Iruka could make him forget his worries over the boy knowing he was Hound.  </p><p>“I think I’d like that,” Kakashi said just as quiet as Iruka had been.  </p><p>They sat together in front of the stone as the rest of the world woke and the sun moved higher into the sky. At some point, Iruka scooted closer to Kakashi, leaning his head against the older boy’s shoulder. Kakashi didn’t mind though. He didn’t think he would ever mind having Iruka be close to him.  </p><p>*** </p><p>It was just a couple months later, on the first anniversary of so much death and destruction, that Iruka and Kakashi found themselves sharing a meal at Ichiraku’s. They had been spending more time together away from the stone, now that Kakashi didn’t have to wear his ANBU mask every time he saw Iruka. When neither were on missions, they often trained together; Iruka had been working on seals and barriers, trying to increase his skill with them. He found them complicated and fascinating and was even attempting to design some of his own. Kakashi was always a willing test subject for him, though he had drawn the line at the glitter bombs. Iruka had laughed himself nearly unconscious watching Kakashi try to shake all the glitter out of his hair.  </p><p>When the two weren’t training, they could be found simply enjoying the others company. Some days they spent outside, enjoying the forest or park, but most times they spent at Iruka’s apartment. It was a small place, essentially a room with a bathroom and a very tiny kitchen, if it could even be called that. Though the place was cramped, it was never too small for them.  </p><p>Their time spent together was always comfortable and always cherished. They both knew too well how quickly things could change, could be taken from them. Each was important to the other, was their precious person, one they could confide in and rely on. Iruka worried about Kakashi when he was gone on his missions and Kakashi worried for Iruka, knowing the world they lived in and knowing how much heart Iruka had. Though the boy was still a genin, Kakashi knew he had so much potential and would one day make a great shinobi, but he also knew that Iruka’s heart would leave him vulnerable and his tendency to say whatever was on his mind would get him in trouble. </p><p>Kakashi shook himself from his thoughts, focusing on what Iruka was talking about over ramen. The genin had just returned from an escort mission with his team the previous day and this was his and Kakashi’s first chance at catching up.  </p><p>Iruka was animated in his talking, his hands flapping around as he described the city they had escorted the merchant to.  </p><p>He paused mid-sentence, looking at Kakashi, who had been silent for too long. A question had been plaguing him for weeks, but he had yet to ask Iruka.  </p><p>“What’s wrong?” Iruka asked. </p><p>“How did you know?”  </p><p>“What?” Iruka asked, mouth full of ramen.  </p><p>Kakashi hesitated, “ya know, about...” He trailed off, gesturing at his face slightly, not wanting to say the words.  </p><p>Recognition lit Iruka’s dark eyes, “oh! I mean, it’s not that hard to figure out.” He rubbed the scar that cut across his nose, “your hair kind of gives you away.”  </p><p>Kakashi ran his hand through his hair self-consciously. Iruka was right though. He was always right.  </p><p>“Hey, it’s probably fine. I also spend a lot of time with you, so like, of course I should recognize you.”  </p><p>The jounin shook his head. He knew Iruka understood the dangers of knowing Kakashi’s ANBU identity, how much trouble he could get in, but that didn’t stop the genin from being nonchalant about it. There really was something incredible about him.  </p><p>“Anyway, the city was <em> huge </em> and there were so many people!” Iruka continued like he hadn’t stopped in the middle of his story. Kakashi focused on it now, listening to the details Iruka recounted. Every time Iruka gestured, their arms would brush, spreading tingles up each of their arms.  </p><p>*** </p><p>Kakashi could feel the gash along his flank bleeding into his fur. He still wasn’t quite sure when the enemy nin had managed to get that close to him, but there wasn’t any point in dwelling on that now. He was stumbling his way back to the Hatake Compound, hoping to make it there so he could shift back and clean up the wound. He let his mind navigate on auto-pilot while keeping his senses alert for anyone else. The last thing he needed was to accidentally come across another person who thought the large wolf was a threat. Or worse, if his instincts decided <em> they </em> were a threat.  </p><p>The scent hit his nose as he broke through the clearing of the trees that surrounded the Memorial Stone, this being the shortest route to the Compound. He stopped short, hoping he hadn’t alerted the genin standing there. Kakashi would know the scent of that genin anywhere, at any time. It was the smell of freshly fallen leaves in autumn, rain on the air, a touch of salt. That scent was imprinted on his being forever.  </p><p>*** </p><p>Iruka turned, his eyes flying to the beast that stood silently, slightly hunched to one side. Instinct told him to drop to his knee, become lower than the wolf, not meet his eyes. He knelt, but held the gaze of the wolf, something deep inside him telling him he knew him. The wolf did not move as Iruka stared at it. His eyes flicked to its side, a dark stain matting the silver fur.  </p><p>Iruka spoke without meaning to, “you’re hurt. I can help you.” He put his hands out in front of him slowly, showing he was unarmed. The wolf cocked his head. Iruka wanted to laugh, the movement reminding him of Kakashi. “Please let me help you.”  </p><p>The wolf moved forward slowly, seeming to give in to Iruka’s request. Iruka wasn’t sure why he thought the wolf was an intelligent being, more than just a beast, but he had a feeling in his gut, and as any good shinobi, he had learned to trust his gut. There was something more though, as the wolf got closer and Iruka could study him better, something telling him that he knew what lay underneath the skin, behind that grey eye that held intelligence and the other eye that was shot red— </p><p>Iruka couldn’t help the gasp that escaped his lips. The wolf was close enough he could see the scar that ran through the left eye into his muzzle. The wolf stopped again, looking as if he was ready to bolt back into the trees. Iruka saw fear flicker through the grey eye.  </p><p>He stumbled forward, quietly crying, “don’t leave, please!” </p><p>The wolf remained still.  </p><p>“Kakashi?”  </p><p>Iruka's voice was barely a whisper in the quiet night.  </p><p>The wolf dipped his head, closing his eyes. Iruka moved closer, within arm’s reach of the wolf, his feet crunching twigs. He tentatively brought his hand up to the wolf’s muzzle, pushing back the fur toward his cheek.  </p><p>“Kakashi, is that you?”  </p><p>The wolf brought his head back up, Iruka’s hand still on his cheek, and looked into Iruka’s chocolate eyes. All Iruka could see was Kakashi.  </p><p>“Let’s get you home and patched up. But where were you going? Isn’t your apartment the other direction?” Iruka asked, perplexed. He hadn’t been to Kakashi’s apartment, just parted ways with Kakashi outside the building after they had hung out or trained. </p><p>Kakashi tipped his head in the direction he had been travelling before stumbling upon Iruka and started toward it.  </p><p>“Where—? Oh alright, I’ll follow you,” Iruka huffed, keeping close to Kakashi’s uninjured side.  </p><p>They walked in silence, Kakashi panting heavily. The wound had stopped bleeding as much, but he still felt it trickle when it pulled.  </p><p>When they came upon the Hatake Compound from the back through the forest, Iruka stopped, feeling the pressure of the wards. He felt as if he was being analyzed, inspected. The feeling of scrutiny left him itchy and anxious.  </p><p>Kakashi had stopped when Iruka halted. He looked at Iruka, at the house in the distance, then back at Iruka before letting out a low whine.  </p><p>“The wards, what are they doing?” Iruka asked. He had started reading about seals and barriers, but his studies hadn’t got very far. He wasn’t left a lot of time between missions with his genin team and training.  </p><p>Suddenly, the pressure of the wards released and acceptance washed over Iruka’s skin. What had been almost rejection before was now a welcoming thrum, begging him to accept the invitation to enter the land.  </p><p>Iruka didn’t hesitate after that, following Kakashi along to the house. When they made it to the door, Iruka opened it after looking at Kakashi for confirmation.  </p><p>“Let’s clean you up in the bathroom. Is your med-kit in there?” Iruka asked quietly. Kakashi led the way, Iruka following.  </p><p>Iruka grabbed the kit from its shelf in the bathroom. He washed his hands before starting to clean up Kakashi’s flank.  </p><p>“I’m not really qualified to do this, but it doesn’t look too deep. I think it’ll be okay if I stitch it up.” Hesitation rang in Iruka’s voice. He knew the basics for field dressing and stitching a wound, but he hadn’t had much practice and it was a bit different when it wasn’t a human.  </p><p>Kakashi lifted head up off the floor where he was lying to look at Iruka. He blinked once before huffing and putting his head back down.  </p><p>“This is going to hurt and I’m real sorry,” Iruka said before going quiet again. He could hear Kakashi’s labored breathing. He didn’t want to have to do this, but he didn’t want Kakashi to have to figure out how to take care of himself. How did he handle treating his wounds when in this form?  </p><p>Iruka’s mind continued to work as his hands did. How long had Kakashi been able to shift to a wolf? Why hadn’t he told Iruka? Did anyone else know?  </p><p>He kept his hands as steady as he could, threading the needle, before dabbing at the wound with a wash cloth and wound disinfectant. The fur around the gash was just damp enough to be pushed away so Iruka had space to stitch.  Kakashi stayed still, waiting for Iruka to tell him he was finished.  </p><p>They stayed quiet. After pulling the last stitch through, Iruka sat back, looking at his work. It wasn’t the best he had done, but it sufficed. His jounin-sensei had told him to work on his stitching more, but he hadn’t had the time. He was considering making sure he had the time now.  </p><p>Kakashi lifted his head, silently asking Iruka if he was finished.  </p><p>“I didn’t cover it yet. Do you want it wrapped?” Iruka asked, unsure of the proper way to treat the wounds of a wolf.  </p><p>Kakashi huffed again, before getting to his feet. Iruka moved back to give him space even as he worried that Kakashi would bolt out the door. Kakashi went for the door slowly though, before turning back and nudging Iruka with his snout, the boy still sitting on the floor of the bathroom.  </p><p>Iruka stood, washing his hands again before gathering the supplies and putting them away with meticulous care. Kakashi stood still, silently watching Iruka complete his task before giving a small whine to get the genin’s attention. Iruka jumped at the noise, causing Kakashi to shrink back before turning and leaving the room completely, quicker than before. </p><p>“Kakashi, wait!” Iruka called, going after him. Kakashi stopped in the middle of the main room, tension holding his body tight. He let out a low whine again, but didn’t turn around to face Iruka.  </p><p>“I’m not scared of you.”  </p><p>Iruka’s voice was strong and confident. He didn’t hesitate in walking around Kakashi, stopping in front of him and crouching down so they were mostly level. Kakashi stood taller than Iruka realized when he was standing.  </p><p>“I want to help you. Just because you’re patched up doesn’t mean you’re okay,” Iruka said. Hesitantly he reached for Kakashi’s face again, but Kakashi turned his head away, before dropping his whole body down, settling his head on his paws. Iruka pulled his hand back while settling onto his knees.  </p><p>“I guess this conversation is a little one-sided,” Iruka said with a small grin. The only response was the twitch of one of Kakashi’s ears. Iruka didn’t really know how to proceed. He felt a little weird talking to Kakashi when he couldn’t respond in words, but Kakashi needed to know that Iruka wasn’t going to abandon him.  </p><p>Iruka moved a little closer to Kakashi, who moved a little further back in response. Without thinking, Iruka reached up a hand, flicking Kakashi’s ear. He let out a low growl in response.  </p><p>“Hush, and stop trying to get away from me,” Iruka admonished. “I’m not leaving and neither are you. You can’t scare me away and I won’t abandon you. <em>You </em>taught me that you don’t abandon your teammates.”   </p><p>Kakashi moved his head enough to look up at Iruka, their gazes catching. Iruka saw the fear that had flickered through before, back with a vengeance. He brought his hand to Kakashi’s ear again, the one he had flicked moments before, and gently stroked it, the fur soft under his calloused fingers. Iruka wanted to erase the fear in those eyes, but he didn’t know how. He felt a little helpless.  </p><p>“When you shift back, we’re gonna have a long talk. I care about you Kakashi.” Iruka’s voice was earnest and his eyes held determination. He would stay by Kakashi’s side no matter what.  </p><p>They sat in the quiet, pale moonlight filtering through the large window of the room. Iruka continued to stroke Kakashi’s ear. The fear in Kakashi’s eyes receded, but never fully left.  </p><p>Iruka spoke quietly, in a small voice, his own fear trickling in, “please don’t leave me, ‘Kashi. And please don’t make me leave.”  </p><p>Kakashi nudged his head into Iruka’s hand, a rumble escaping his chest. Iruka didn’t know what it meant, but it felt like Kakashi telling him they were okay, that he wasn’t going anywhere and neither was Iruka.  </p><p>At some point, Iruka started to fall asleep, hand still rubbing Kakashi’s ear. He settled himself on the floor next to Kakashi, his head propped on Kakashi’s shoulder, mindful of the wound he had sewed shut earlier even in his drowsy state. He slept soundly against the other, a feeling of peace and warmth surrounding him that he hadn’t felt in a very long time.  </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. ... where we are now</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Iruka was curled on the futon, consciousness barely hovering. His internal clock told him it was nearly dawn and he wanted to get those last few precious moments of sleep before he had to get up, go train, and get ready for the day of teaching at the Academy.  </p>
<p>The wards of the Compound shuddered, welcoming the presence that had crossed through them. Iruka smiled, the feeling of home washing over him with the welcome. He would doze until the other came in.  </p>
<p>It didn’t take long until he felt a huff of air on his neck and a large snout snuffling the hair fanned on his pillow. Iruka laughed softly, turning toward the large wolf. He had missed his love the previous night while he was out wandering the forests of Konoha.  </p>
<p>“Good morning, Kakashi.”  </p>
<p>Kakashi pushed his nose against Iruka’s cheek, his tongue coming out just enough to lick under Iruka’s jaw. Iruka pushed his hands up through Kakashi’s fur along his muzzle, his thumb stroking the top of Kakashi’s snout. He moved his hands up along the top of Kakashi’s head and stroked Kakashi’s ears, loving the feel of the soft fur between his fingers.  </p>
<p>Kakashi rumbled, deep in his chest, but a soft sound, one that Iruka knew and understood.  </p>
<p>“Mm, I missed you too. I’m happy you’re home,” Iruka replied, starting to sit up before a large paw was placed on his chest, keeping him in place. The intent was clear.  </p>
<p>Kakashi moved the paw to the other side of Iruka to put more weight on it, moving closer and settling down in a sprawl, half laying on Iruka. Kakashi’s foreleg was stretched across his torso and his muzzle rested on Iruka’s shoulder. His grey eye blinked at Iruka.  </p>
<p>“I was supposed to get up to train, ‘Kashi,” Iruka said laughing. Kakashi just huffed at him, warm air blowing across Iruka’s face. “Alright, alright, we can cuddle.” The fondness outweighed the exasperation as Iruka turned into Kakashi’s warmth, sliding his fingers through the fur on Kakashi’s flank. He mindlessly rubbed his hand up and down Kakashi’s side as his other hand played with the top of Kakashi’s ear. A low purring, rumble came from deep within Kakashi. Iruka fell back asleep in seconds.  </p>
<p>***  </p>
<p>A nose nudging Iruka’s cheek woke him, his eyes fluttering open to look at Kakashi’s eyes. The Sharingan was open, capturing every minute detail of Iruka waking up. He moved his hand to Kakashi’s cheek, holding it gently while turning his head just enough to capture Kakashi’s smiling lips.  </p>
<p>They broke apart, but Kakashi stayed close, rubbing their noses together gently.  </p>
<p>Iruka was happy, content to lay there all day with Kakashi, shower him in affection. Something was pulling at Iruka’s brain though, like he forgot something. His eyes went wide as he took in the light streaming through the window. </p>
<p>“Shit, Kakashi, what time is it?” he yelled, nearly shoving the other man on the floor in his attempt to get up. “Oh no, I’m gonna be late!” Iruka pulled on his shinobi uniform in a rush, yanking a brush through his tangled hair in an attempt to put it in its ponytail, and ran out the door.  </p>
<p>Kakashi was still on the bed, arms crossed and pouting. He hadn’t wanted the sensei to leave him for the day.  </p>
<p>Suddenly Iruka was back in the room, leaning over Kakashi’s prone form, gazing at him with those dark eyes that spoke louder than his words. A smile was across his face, one of those special ones he reserved for just Kakashi.  </p>
<p>“I love you,” Iruka said before kissing Kakashi. “Come see me at lunch if you’re feeling up to it. I have a shift at the desk after school.”  </p>
<p>He was gone before Kakashi could reply, the silence of the room prominent after the whirlwind of activity.  </p>
<p>*** </p>
<p>Kakashi did show up at lunch, a homemade bento in his hand. There was enough packed for the both of them and they ate quietly at Iruka’s desk, Kakashi sitting cross-legged on the corner, close enough for Iruka to leave his hand wrapped around the other man’s calf. His thumb unconsciously rubbed circles into Kakashi’s sharp shin.  </p>
<p>The silence between them was comfortable, as it had always been since they were children, first sitting at the Memorial Stone, mourning their loved ones in the quiet, then later as they became friends. Iruka thought about how their relationship had grown through the years. There had always been something about the silver-haired boy behind the ANBU mask that called to him, told him to reach out and offer a part of himself. And so he had, that first time Kakashi had spoken to him, telling Kakashi he could stay, hoping the ANBU would. They built a solid friendship that had easily turned to more. Sometimes Iruka wondered if it had always been more than friendship, but he knew that his ten-year-old self wouldn’t have cared about that, not at that time when he was still feeling the open wounds of loss. It wasn’t until after he made chuunin that something more had developed between them. Kakashi said it was Iruka nearly dying on that mission that made him realize how much he needed Iruka.  </p>
<p>As Iruka thought about their relationship, now a solid five years long, he felt his palm tingle against Kakashi’s leg, his thumb still stroking over his wrappings. The tingle was normal, a constant when he was around Kakashi, getting stronger as they became physically closer. It reminded Iruka just who this man was: his soulmate.  </p>
<p>Not many knew of the Hatake Clan secret—their shapeshifting abilities—and even fewer knew about the part that involved soulmates. Not everyone in the Hatake bloodline had a soulmate, but the ones that did were said to possess more power and abilities, that they were the ones who were meant to protect the forests. Iruka was still reading the books from the Hatake ancestors, had been reading and rereading them for nearly a decade, but they never explained why it was only those with soulmates that were meant to be protectors. Kakashi hadn’t even known he had a soulmate until Iruka began reading the books, just knew what his father had taught him before he had died. Initially he had scoffed at the idea, telling Iruka those books were nonsense, but Iruka could see underneath the words and the cool façade. He could see the pain Kakashi was hiding. He had become quite adept at reading Kakashi early on in their friendship, making him nearly an open book to Iruka while he hid behind his masks to everyone else.  </p>
<p>Kakashi had not wanted a soulmate for fear of having someone tethered to him, impacted by his actions more directly than what they already were. He didn’t want to burden another with his life, his mistakes, but he also feared being close enough to someone that he could so easily lose. And everyone could be easily lost. Even the strongest shinobi could die.  </p>
<p>Iruka was understanding of his reasoning without Kakashi having to put it into words. It had taken several months of Iruka bringing it up and Kakashi being taciturn or aggressive in his responses for Iruka to realize what was happening. He had been fourteen at the time, not completely understanding of the world, but also understanding more than any fourteen-year-old should. He had grabbed Kakashi’s hand after another snapping response from the jounin and pulled him to Iruka. The fact that Kakashi even allowed Iruka to grab his hand, let alone pull him anywhere was a sign of the implicit trust Kakashi had in him, a fact that did not slip unnoticed by the younger boy. He had tugged Kakashi close and told him that everyone deserves to be happy, that <em>Kakashi deserved to be happy</em>.  </p>
<p>Iruka smiled to himself, back in the present, thinking about that conversation. He looked up at his partner to see the man already looking back at him, affection in his uncovered eye.  </p>
<p>“What are you thinking about?” Kakashi asked quietly.  </p>
<p>Iruka’s smile grew a smidge, “you.”  </p>
<p>“Maa,” Kakashi mumbled, a slight blush rising to the top of his cheek. He glanced outside the large window, before speaking again. “It seems your lunch hour is just about over, sensei. Shall I bring you dinner too?”  </p>
<p>“You spoil me,” Iruka replied.  </p>
<p>“You are mine to spoil,” Kakashi growled lightly. Iruka could see the smirk beneath the mask.  </p>
<p>He tightened his hold on Kakashi’s leg, a hint of a facetious smile tugging at lips, “I guess I can live with that.” Iruka stood, his hand releasing Kakashi’s leg and set his empty bento box to the side. Kakashi moved to let his legs hang off the side of the desk, allowing Iruka to fill the space between them. The jounin tipped his head back to properly look at Iruka as the younger man leaned into and over him.  </p>
<p>“There is exactly two minutes before kids coming running in that door. What do you suggest I do with my time?” Iruka asked mischievously.  </p>
<p>“I have an idea,” Kakashi’s voice was low as he tugged down his mask, slotting his lips against Iruka’s.  </p>
<p>They stayed that way until Iruka heard the sounds of small feet entering the building. He pulled away, tugging Kakashi’s mask in place, before placing another peck against clothed lips.  </p>
<p>“I’ll see you later?” Iruka asked, listening to the pounding of shoes getting closer. He had turned away from Kakashi to gather their lunch things together, but looked back up when he was met with silence. He knew the look in Kakashi’s eye, the one that said to hell with anyone else he was going to ravage the sensei senseless.  </p>
<p>“Kakashi, no,” Iruka told him, exasperated, putting his hand over Kakashi’s face as the jounin leaned in, pushing Kakashi away. The fond smile on his face softened the rejection.  </p>
<p>Kakashi let out a small growl, but didn’t push further.  </p>
<p>Iruka hummed quietly, “I love you.”  </p>
<p>Kakashi stood, stepping closer to the chuunin, a smile in his eye as he pressed a clothed-covered kiss to the man’s forehead. His hands completed the signs for a shunshin just as the children burst through the door, leaving Iruka with nothing more than a few leaves to indicate Kakashi’s presence at all. </p>
<p>*** </p>
<p>Iruka’s shift at the desk at come and gone with the interlude of a silver haired jounin bringing him Ichiraku ramen. The warm broth and familiar flavors helped ease the tension headache building at the base of his skull, though it never abated entirely.  </p>
<p>Now he was home, curled up next to his partner. Kakashi had shifted back to his wolf form, letting Iruka take comfort in the warm, thick fur. Kakashi was sprawled on his side, with Iruka pressing as much of his torso against him as he could, practically laying on the great wolf. His head rested on Kakashi's neck while his hand brushed along the fur of Kakashi's muzzle, up to his ears. He would hold Kakashi's ear for a moment, fingers playing with the soft fur, before repeating the motion.  </p>
<p>It relaxed him, the warmth and safety of his lover. Kakashi's deep breathing lulled him into a dozing state. His eyes slipped closed, his breathing matching the wolf's. In this one, small moment, safe in their home, everything was perfect.  </p>
<p>*** </p>
<p>Kakashi was instantly alert, though he didn’t open his eyes. He relied on his senses to tell him the danger.  </p>
<p>Hands gripped the fur of his shoulder and chest tightly, almost hurting him. A whimper and sob hit his ears.  </p>
<p>Iruka was having another nightmare.  </p>
<p>Kakashi opened his eyes, lifting his head to see Iruka better. The younger man's body was wrought with tension and his grip tightened further.  </p>
<p>The wolf let out a soft whine, hoping it would be enough to soothe Iruka. The noise startled Iruka awake and he sat up, a wild look in his eyes as he searched for the threat.  </p>
<p>Kakashi stayed still, intently watching Iruka as he got his bearings. He could see recognition fill Iruka's dark eyes even in the dim light of night. He was safe, in their home. Kakashi let out another small whine, causing Iruka's attention to shift to him to.  </p>
<p>“Kakashi?” </p>
<p>The wolf huffed in response.  </p>
<p>Tears started to form in Iruka's eyes, his lip trembling.  </p>
<p>“’Kashi, need you, need you to hold me. Please,” Iruka cut off, a sob wrenching its way through his chest.  </p>
<p>Kakashi was once again in the form of a man, the transition smooth and instant. He remembered Iruka quizzing him endlessly about his transitions between human and wolf, though he never could give satisfactory answers. Kakashi wrapped his arms around the chuunin, pulling him in tight. Iruka's face was tucked into his neck as full body sobs wracked his body. It had been awhile since a nightmare had been this bad.  </p>
<p>When he could finally speak again, Iruka said, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t ask you to… I love you no matter… I’m sorry.” </p>
<p>Kakashi ran a hand through Iruka's hair, his fingers gently catching knots and smoothing them out.  </p>
<p>“I know, Iruka. You don’t need to apologize, love.” He ran his hand up and down the length of Iruka’s back, hoping to soothe his partner.  </p>
<p>The two had long ago discussed Kakashi’s two forms. For Kakashi, he had grown with both of them as his normal; he was Hatake Kakashi no matter which skin he was in. Though they had only known each other for a short time—just barely more than a year when Iruka discovered Kakashi’s wolf form—Kakashi was terrified of Iruka rejecting him. There had always been something about Iruka that called to Kakashi, made him want to be close to him and he was scared that when Iruka discovered he shifted to the shape of a wolf, he would lose the boy forever. That hadn’t happened though. Iruka had accepted him wholeheartedly; as Kakashi reflected on that moment so many years ago, it was really no surprise—it was exactly Iruka’s nature to accept people wholeheartedly. For Iruka, Kakashi was Kakashi no matter what skin he wore. He was still snarky and perpetually lazy, but also quiet and affectionate, doting as always.  </p>
<p>Kakashi knew that Iruka loved him no matter his form and he loved Iruka more than he thought he could ever love anyone.  </p>
<p>It spoke of great trust between the two that Iruka even felt comfortable asking him to change forms and Kakashi would never hesitate. He knew it was never out of fear or disgust. The only time Iruka asked was when he needed Kakashi to be able to speak to him or because he needed to be held, the skin on skin contact providing him with an anchor to reality.  </p>
<p>Kakashi held Iruka closer to him, tightening his hold on him, his hand still stroking Iruka’s back. His eyes were drawn to the wolf prints that littered Iruka’s back, each no bigger than the size of a fist. They started near his left hip and trailed up between his shoulder blades, curving up over his shoulder and ending above his heart. The marks were dark, like the man had tattooed them; Kakashi knew different though, knew that these prints had not appeared on Iruka’s skin with permission. No, they had seeped to the surface shortly before Iruka’s eleventh birthday, just after the two had met for the first time.  </p>
<p>These marks spoke of a force greater than Iruka, greater than Kakashi. It spoke of a tradition long held by ancient powers.  </p>
<p>These were the marks that identified Iruka as Kakashi’s soulmate.  </p>
<p>Iruka’s sobs had quieted, but Kakashi could still feel the tension tight throughout Iruka’s body. He waited for Iruka to pull back, holding on for as long as the other man needed comfort. It was several more minutes later before Iruka pulled away, looking at Kakashi, his eyes puffy and red, tear tracks still on his face.  </p>
<p>“I’m sorry, Kakashi,” he mumbled, his voice raw from crying.  </p>
<p>Kakashi held Iruka’s face, thumbs brushing away the stray tears still falling.  </p>
<p>“You keep apologizing and you don’t need to.”  </p>
<p>“I hate asking you to shift. It’s not fair to you,” Iruka said quietly. “My love for you doesn’t change when you’re in your wolf form.” He kept his eyes downcast.  </p>
<p>Kakashi placed a finger under Iruka’s chin, lifting his head. He spoke only after Iruka finally met his gaze.  </p>
<p>“I know this. I love you, Iruka.” Kakashi placed a gentle kiss on Iruka’s forehead, on bridge of his nose over his scar, and then softly on his lips.  </p>
<p>“I love you too, so much,” Iruka said, wrapping his arms around Kakashi’s middle, burying his face into the space between his lover’s shoulder and neck. Kakashi laid them back down on their futon, keeping Iruka close. Nightmares didn’t plague Iruka as much as they did Kakashi, but he still had his fair share. It was a hazard of their job as shinobi, seeing the worst that people could do. Kakashi knew that Iruka’s subconscious taunted him with the possibility of the children he taught turning bad or dying in battle. It scared Iruka and often led to more nightmares, but Kakashi was there when he could be, to help soothe away the lingering fear.  </p>
<p>“Did you want to talk about it?” Kakashi asked quietly.  </p>
<p>Iruka shook his head as much as he could, pressed so tightly against Kakashi. “Not this time. Not right now at least.”  </p>
<p>“Try to get some more sleep.”  </p>
<p>After awhile, Kakashi felt Iruka’s breathing even and his body start to go lax, losing the tension from the nightmare. Kakashi only allowed himself to sleep again when he was sure Iruka was deeply unconscious.  </p>
<p>*** </p>
<p>Iruka woke slowly, the smell of pancakes on the air. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes before stretching, trying to convince himself to get out from under the warm blankets.  </p>
<p>The sound of the door opening made him turn his head, a soft smile appearing on his face at the sight before him. Kakashi stood with a plate stacked high with pancakes, syrup pooling around the raised edges of the plate. Iruka’s gaze wasn’t on the food though; Kakashi hadn’t bothered to put a shirt on and his sweatpants were slung low on his hips. His hair was more chaotic than usual, sticking out everywhere like he had simply run his hands through it after waking. His face was bare except for the eye patch he wore around the house. Kakashi looked almost as delectable as the sweet, syrupy mess.  </p>
<p>“Perfect timing, you’re awake,” he said, his voice low. Iruka melted a little. “I made you pancakes.”  </p>
<p>The chuunin couldn’t make his brain function, not with Kakashi standing there like a god. It didn’t matter how long they had known each other or been together, Iruka would always desire Kakashi.  </p>
<p>Kakashi smirked. The bastard knew exactly what he was doing to Iruka and frankly, Iruka couldn’t be bothered to be mad about it. The other man was always there for him, always taking care of him, always loving him It didn’t matter what it was, Kakashi would listen to Iruka and help in any way he could. He showed Iruka his love in so many ways and Iruka would never take that love for granted.  </p>
<p>Iruka continued to stare, his eyes dark with desire, as Kakashi moved into the room. He set the plate on the dresser before moving closer to Iruka. Finally, Iruka could reach him, grabbing his hand and pulling hard. He wanted Kakashi in his arms <em> now </em> . Kakashi tumbled down and Iruka rolled them until the other man was on his back with Iruka straddling him. He leaned over Kakashi—his most precious person, his best friend, his lover, his partner, <em>his soulmate</em>—and kissed him deeply, dark hair creating a curtain around them. Iruka could taste the pancakes and a touch of syrup on Kakashi’s tongue.  </p>
<p>When the kiss broke, Iruka moved back ever so slightly, a coy smile on his lips, “thank you for the pancakes.”  </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>thank you so much for reading! this was the first bang i've participated in and it was a pleasure to write for! </p>
<p>there's more planned for this 'verse, so stay tuned! </p>
<p>check out the other <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/collections/KakaIru_Mini_Bang/works"> kakairu minibang</a> submissions.  </p>
<p>as always, stay safe and well out there. ♡</p>
<p>find me on <a href="https://stupidbadgers.tumblr.com"> tumblr</a>.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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